After Action Report: The BEST Troubleshooter Team in "Censored for Your Protection"
The second session in what I'm hoping to run as an on-going Paranoia campaign.
The BEST (Beyond Excellent Service Today) Troubleshooter Team:
Adam / Allthe-R-Age-2 (Team Leader)
Sarah / Ann-R-KEY-2 (Hygiene Officer)
Holly / Many-R-ATS-1 (Combat Officer)
Previously, they had tackled the classic scenario "Robot Imana-665-C" and did remarkably well, getting the robot to talk almost straight away. There was a hiccup when Ann-R decided to report some dangerous and unauthorized organic sludge in the robot and got the entire team disintegrated except for Many-R who used her mutant power to escape the room leaving her comrades to their fate. This time, I decided to send them on the Red Clearance Edition mission "Censored for Your Protection" available in the Acute Paranoia box set in Mission Book 2.0.
They are walking in what is essentially a shopping mall. They don't have a loooot of XP and so weren't too interested in the shopping aspect when the MISSION ALERT hits. They are called to a special experimental Troubleshooter lounge for briefing. They are also informed that due to budget overruns they have been charged 1 XP for receiving the mission alert. Ann-R-Key attempts to walk fast while looking like she’s moving slowly. And fails. Badly. She looks like she came from the Ministry of Silly Walks. En route to the mission they all receive drops or info from their secret societies assigning them various tasks.
They arrive at the Troubleshooter Lounge which is modeled after a fastfood restaurant styled as a "Meat-ish Burger Emporium." Derek-O shouts at them to get behind the counter. Ann-R jumps over the counter and gets noticed by the computer as she sullies what is supposed to be a sterile surface. As punishment, Ann-R is assigned Hygiene officer as a mandatory bonus duty. They make it to the kitchen and Derek-O enters full drill sergeant mode. Ann-R begins to become obstinate with Derek-O but is interrupted as Sierra Club terrorists burst through the door of the lounge. They are violently attacking the Emporium for its use of fake-meat alternatives in its Meat-ish Burgers. Ann-R uses “Suddenly Knives” to grab a Mandolin (The bladed cooking implement, not the musical instrument) and leaps for the enemy troubleshooters. The computer symbol came up on the computer die. Mulling this over, I decided that the Computer was curious about this improvised weapon and wanted further research. Ann-R was ordered to use the mandolin as their weapon exclusively for the rest of the mission. They killed the terrorist really dead, though. Allthe-R and Many-R duck behind prep stations and fire on the Sierra Clubbers. The Sierra Clubbers return fire but can’t hit anything while the third survivor shoots at Ann-R who uses a card to avoid the damage. Ann-R kills another Sierra Clubber with the mandolin! Many-R uses a critical success card to mow down the remaining Sierra Clubbers. Derek-O congratulates them but Allthe-R mentions another round of burnt fries has ensued and Derek-O penalizes Many-R. Derek-O finishes the briefing and assigns their mandatory bonus duties. He also explains that the mission budget is 0 and so any infractions or delays will be met with heavy fines.
They set off for lab #4725. They get lost momentarily but Allthe-R gets them on course. They arrive at the lab and manage to get around the door guard. They meet Amelia-B and receive the Absquatulators, the name for this brilliant new anti-terrorism device. Which they can cannot perceive in any way due to Cerebral CoreTECH censoring this very sensitive device. They cannot feel, smell, taste, or hear the device. All they seem is a black rectangle over it marked 'censored for your protection.' Ann-R and Allthe-R get some XP point deductions for bother Amelia-B with impertinent questions (Amelia-B considers any questions to be impertinent). They are marched to the Bin, the yellow transport vehicle. The mission gives them a special car to get through the mission with. Not because it helps, but because Amelia-B wants the Troubleshooter program discontinued and this tank is guaranteed to break stuff. It was "This Vehicle Does not Stop" written on the front and back bumper. Allthe-R will take this to heart. Allthe-R orders them inside after the Green intsec escort explains they are temporarily given clearance to drive it. The BEST Troubleshooters sit in different parts of the vehicle almost out of anger. Allthe-R assigns his responsibility to Many-R. Allthe-R climbs in to the driver’s seat and starts the Bin. Allthe-R damages a wall on his way out and drives recklessly, running over a Junior Citizen Scout field trip group all for XP point deductions. They encounter the parade honoring the efforts of Alpha Complex Bureaucrats to fight terrorism. Allthe-R runs straight through it. They lose so, so many XP as they drive through everything in their path. "This Vehicle Does Not Stop" is the catch phrase. Allthe-R then runs through the toll booth. He charges through the sector checkpoint. Their vehicle goes on autopilot and parks itself.
As they climb a stairwell they get waylaid by communists. Ann-R decides to try the Absquatulator. Something they cannot perceive in any way. The Absquatulator breaks leaving Ann-R holding a slightly smaller black rectangle with a black square on the ground. And then a group of enthusiastic dressed up commies attacks. Many-R fires on the commies as Ann-R moves closer to use the mandolin. Many-R is forced to improvise a Bouncy Bubble Beverage commercial getting drilled with a cannon-shot can of the B3 in the process. They do so quite well. Allthe-R begins spraying fire at the commies. Ann-R charges up the steps to attack the commies with her mandolin. She hurls the broken piece of Absquatulator at him as she attacks. Many-R does not remember the volatile properties of Bouncy Bubble Beverage. Be a shame if it got jostled and exploded. The commies have the high ground and hurt them severely. Ann-R uses a card that allows for extra dice but does damage to them for each 1 rolled. And then rolls 4 separate 1s. They are disemboweled by the mandolin as they clock the commie with the Absquatulator. Allthe-R uses a critical success card to gun down the remaining commies.
They are ushered in to the focus group. The blue clearance citizen quizzes them on the Absquatulators. Many-R quickly gives a treasonous answer and is sitting on 4 treason stars. The rest of the answers are sufficiently loyal. Suddenly the mission objectives are updated and Amelia-B is labeled a traitor! The Computer has noticed that this mission has been odd and the devices make no sense. It has deduced that Amelia-B is up to something. They head back to the lab. Amelia-B has cleared out her goons and is preparing to hack the team's cerebral coretechs. The door is locked. Allthe-R orders Many-R to use her mutant power to open the door which Ann-R and Allthe-R immediately record. Amelia-B stalls and prepares to blind the troubleshooters by hacking their coretechs to censor everything the way the Absquatulator was censored. Ann-R ruins the blindness effect with a card that forces failure. Time was running short and I thought it was really funny, so I allowed it.. So the attempt to hack their coreTECHs fails. Allthe-R covers the rear and sends Ann-R and Many-R to do the fighting. Many-R and Ann-R charge forward. Many-R uses a card to ensure a takedown of Amelia-B. Ann-R calls a guardbot to arrest her with another card. Amelia-B is sent to a Guilt Liberation Auditorium and the mission is a success!
At Debriefing Ann-R badly accuses Allthe-R of cowardice and gets a treason star and then Allthe-R shows proof of Many-R as a mutant. It earns her her last treason star and she is branded a hostile mutant traitor. Ann-R reduces her to ribbons with the mandolin in a way that is as gross as it is indescribable. They get their XP Rewards. Everyone is ahead of where they started in terms of XP rewards with Many-R's next clone on the cusp of purchasing a new security clearance. Ann-R killed no fewer than 3 traitors during the mission making the mandolin a shockingly successful weapon. To this end, the Computer has issued each member of the BEST Troubleshooter team a 'Combat Mandolin' marked with their team name. It's probably going to become their logo.
Ann-R-KEY-2 was killed by a commie traitor attempting to obstruct delivery of the Absquatulators.
Many-R-ATS-1 was killed after being revealed as a traitorous mutant and earning her 5th Treason star. Executed by Ann-R-KEY-3.
submitted by /u/Booster_Blue [link] [comments]