d100 Friend Computer Approved PSA Announcements - Help me Fill in some blanksALPHA COMPLEX PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS**How to use:**While the players do their mission in Alpha Complex, occasionally roll a D100 and do a Public Service Announcement (PSA) from Alpha Complex’s intercom. All PSAs use the following format.
Attention all citizens of Alpha Complex,[PSA]
That is all.
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==
Geneva Incident References ==
01: All rumors of the the Geneva Incident are false and vile propaganda created by the terrorists.
02: The Geneva Incident, which did not occur, was not caused by unattended experimental R&D equipment.
03: There has been an increase in the number of reports about treasonous mutants in sector GEN-53. This is in no way connected to the Geneva incident, which did not occur.
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==
Happiness is Mandatory ==
06: Stay Happy.
07: Smile. Smiling is an indication of happiness and happiness is mandatory.
08: Friend Computer encourages confidence and optimism in all actions. Optimism and confidence are signs of happy citizen and all citizens in Alpha Complex are happy.
09: If you find yourself feeling unhappy, locate your nearest Happiness Officer so they can administer a happiness pill.
10: Remember, paranoia is just a kind of awareness, and awareness is just another form of love.
==
The Clone Longevity Committee ==
11: The latest research by the clone longevity committee indicates that thoroughly reading all safety signs results in an increased lifespan of 40.3% of a daycycle.
12: The latest research by the clone longevity committee indicates that tying your shoes results in an increased lifespan of 5.6% of a daycycle.
13: The latest research by the clone longevity committee indicates that eating your daily three servings of non-poisionous nutrition pellets results in an increased lifespan of 15.7% of a daycycle.
14: The latest research by the clone longevity committee indicates that paying attention and adhering to all Public Service Announcements results in an increased lifespan of 27.2% of a daycycle.
15: The latest research by the clone longevity committee indicates that [insert mundane activity] results in an increased lifespan of 15.4% of a daycycle.
==
Friend Computer ==
16: The Computer is your Friend.
17: Trust Friend Computer. Friend Computer trusts you.
18: Friend Computer is omniscient and always monitoring your performance.
19: Friend Computer may intervene at intervals which may seem random, but are in fact the product of carefully balanced algorithms and not, I repeat not, due to any form of malware or viruses, which do not exist.
20: Always ask yourself. What would Friend Computer do?
==
Safety reminders ==
21: Please remember to return all equipment to their proper incinerator. Adhering to Computer regulated incineration guidelines is proven to be efficient, time-saving, and significantly reduces the likelihood of incinerating non-regulation items, such as other citizens.
22: The complete annihilation of Team-34-9, while statistically unlikely to occur a second time, should be a reminder to all troubleshooters to wear safety gear while operating heavy machinery.
23: [brief blaring siren]. This has been a test of the safety alarm. Please complete a safety survey and submit it to the nearest safety terminal or safety officer.
24: Catching on fire and running around in circles is not a computer-approved recreational activity.
25: The troubleshooters in sector FLA-67 are not out-numbered, they are just in a target-rich environment.
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==
Troubleshooters Do Something ==
31: Oxygen circulation systems will be turned off in 3 seconds for a firmware update. Please hold your breath while the Oxygen circulation systems updates. (Players hold their breath for about 20 seconds). Oxygen circulation systems have been successfully updated.
32: This is a random equipment inspection. All troubleshooters, pass all equipment to your team's equipment officer for proper inspection.
33: Please be quiet for the next 30 seconds as I recalibrate Alpha Complex’s audio monitoring system... (Any player who makes a noise in the next 30 seconds gets a treason star)... Calibration is complete.
34: Not it. (Quickly put your finger on your nose. The last player to put their finger on their nose loses 1 moxie)
35: Mutants do not exist, However, if you identify as a mutant please raise your hand and standby for inspection. (Wait 30 seconds. If any player raises their hand during this time, they are immediately and horrendously eliminated. Scrub bots clean the aftermath.) Inspection complete.
36: Please show your appreciation of our "Number One" troubleshooter, [Name of "Number One" troubleshooter] by singing Alpha Complex’s “Song of Appreciation”. (Players make up the song).
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==
Secret Society reference ==
41: The graffiti in sector THA-08 is a figment of your imagination. Ignore it as imagination is treasonous.
42: In the event that you find yourself in a dead zone, immediately vacate the premises. Report any and all other citizens you see in the dead zone, especially ones wearing non-protocol hats.
43: (non-Friend Computer’s voice) Am I On? Did that actually work? Ok - right... DEATH LEOPARDS RULE! DEATH LEOPARDS 4EVER! DEATH LEOP---. (Friend Computer’s voice) Attention all citizens of Alpha Complex, please delete the last 15 Seconds from your AugMem.
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==
Mutant References ==
53: The latest research by the clone longevity committee indicates that substance found in sector GEN-53 may trigger latent mutant powers when exposed. Avoid this treasonous substance.
54: Clones should not have more than 4 limbs. If you spot a citizen with any additional limbs, remove it from their treasonous body. Mutants do not exist.
55: Free C@ bots for unregistered mutants! Please report to the nearest mutant registration/termination center to receive yours today! (If they’re stupid enough to register, give them a c@ bot, nothing bad happens otherwise).
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==
Treasonous Acts ==
61: XP is the only currency. Other currencies do not exist and have never existed, and rumor of stable trade through value-fixed barter goods between treasonous clones are so false they should not even be acknowledged or investigated.
62: Until further notice [a mundane activity like jumping or speaking] is treasonous and therefore impossible [End PSA]. (penalize anyone who performs [mundne activity]. Then, a few minutes later, in another PSA)... [same mundane activity] has been removed from Friend Computer's index of treasonous actions.
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==
Security Clearance Reference ==
71. If you start seeing material outside your clearance level, please turn on your Cerebral Coretech's censor vision to remove the classified material from your ocular implants.
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==
Research & Development Reference ==
76: The giant crater that is where sector GEN-61 use to be is a result of terrorism and not from the latest R&D experiment.
77: R&D needs a willing test subject for their new [Random R&D Equipment Card]. Please sign up to become a test subject at your nearest R&D Equipment Acquisition Terminal.
78: Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to Research and Design? It’s True! Fill out an Organ Removal form at your nearest termination booth.
79: Equipment assigned to you is your responsibility. You will be penalized if you fail to take care of issued equipment. Terrorists love unattended equipment.
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==
Life at Alpha Complex ==
81: Alpha Complex is your home. Alpha Complex is paradise. Escape from Alpha Complex is impossible and undesirable.
82: Tonight there is a new episode of the hit TV show, Brave and Expendable. Tonight at 77% of daycycle watch the comedic surveillance tapes to the funniest moments of clearance level: Red.
83: Yes is the correct and only acceptable answer.
84: As a reminder, Scrubbots are programmed without emotion chips and cannot speak. If a Scrubbot is showing emotions, or telling you about their emotion, please report it to the nearest loyalty bot.
85: 2 + 2 = 5.1348571. Please adjust accordingly.
86: Everyone in Alpha Complex is equal. Some citizens, with higher clearance, are just more equal.
87: May your daycycle be safe and clean.
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==
Other ==
91: Maximum height regulations for sector THA-14 have been updated to 1.4678 meters. Please adjust your height accordingly.
92: In order to assist data processing in Sector BTL-99, all monitoring in this sector will be disabled for the next fifteen minutes. Please continue to act as though monitoring were occurring normally. [End PSA, a few minutes later, in a new PSA]As part of a required Internal Security policy, the previous statement that we will not be monitoring sector BTL-99 was a complete fabrication. All monitoring in other sectors was shut down to maximize monitoring in this sector. We got you this time Roy G-Biv
93: A special party will be held in the subsector BTL-3 Cantina for citizen Roy G-Biv. All citizens are reminded not to attend this party. Roy-G has no friends, and in fact, is a terrible person.
94: Today’s daycycle is currently 63% complete. Please join me in the mandatory mocking and laughing of citizen Roy G-Biv. [Computer laughter] see ROY-G-BIV, everyone thinks you are terrible.
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==
Being “Number One” ==
96: Join me in giving a large round of applause to our “Number One” Troubleshooter. They have really earned it. They are a paragon of what all troubleshooters should be.
97: Our “Number One” troubleshooter has just earned a complimentary 50XP! (confetti shoots from the walls). They have done a really fantastic job at being better than all the other troubleshooters.
98: Our “Number One” troubleshooter will be given a cake for their excellent work. Enjoy your cake. (They receive a cake and a single fork. There is enough cake for everyone)
99: [Name of Number One Troubleshooter] is the pride of Alpha Complex and is in no way treasonous, please give them a high five for their dedication and loyalty. You could learn something from them.
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